My Dreams

The Meaning Of Friends

2007-05-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

haiz.. alwiz blog some unhappy things..

Dont see me alwiz spam at public in the games or alwiz very happy around the internet.. who will know the deeper part of my heart? my real life is totally not happy at all.. thats why no matter wad i aso will on9.. not in game aso sure will on9 in msn or skype.. why... is becoz.. i really cannot feel i have any "fren" in my real life..

not i dunwan be fren with them.. all their activities i got tried to join like play badminton.. go out sing K together.. i all aso got join juz hope to be 1 of their member in their gang.. however inside their heart i'm juz a randomer..

my another fren which is same class with me have his bday party in class at the friday b4 1/5/2007. i forgot which day already.. that gang never ask me to spend some money.. share with them to clelbrate with my fren.. seriusly.. i really sad.. i juz sit beside and behide nd in front of them..however they really can treat me as a randomer..

the most funny things is.. my bday party is not them to held for me.. but is my another group of fren who i juz know them when the school flower drum song play.. i tot they will celebrate with me but they didnt.. is my another group of different class frens celebrate with me.. really sad..

now in class.. they got go sing k.. or do wadever activities they got ask whole gang.. but treat me like invisible.. i didnt ask for more.. juz.. ppl who do chat with me or who be my frens b4 aso know (in internet) i am a kind of ppl who no talk aso can die 1.. and now i'm being ignoring in class.. my real life...

that is y.. eventhought my result getting worst.. but i still wanna on9.. juz becoz i wan my frens stand beside me. i nid frens.. real life cant give me wad i wan.. or mayb.. i really not suitable for their gang..

and my result is.. i hate my class now.. i hate being lonely.. i hate.. really.. hate...

Best Regards
venus

Bad Days

2007-03-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

today many things wanna talk about. 1st is of coz about my school play la!! today finally enter the serious's 1st play (already did 2 play for form1&form2 student and for family b4). very scarly le... tomorrow more cham, will have more people. however our stage group already dun have any mistake. only sometimes got ppl fall down somethings so have the sound ping ping pong pong =.=!!! i aso wish can take picture from there and post up at here for sharing geh... however i dun have digital camera!! T.T

2nd things is about my wmo things. i dunwan talk much about it at here. becoz here is public and someone always check my frenster, blogger and other things. juz i feel very stress and i'm lost. arrrrr maybe we should tell a people a line before start any relationship with him/her. just here have a massage to whoever read my this post. if that ppl already no more love you, please dun keep focsing or do somethings which u didnt feel like treatening ut he/she does feel to that people. by doing so only will make him/her feel annoying, maybe cant be fren anymore too. juz, let him/her go. this world didnt have any fair for all the people. If it does, why some people cant see the world right after he/she birth? some people why cant found their partner for whole of his/her life? some people why dun have hands/leg when they birth? some people why never do wrong thngs but will pass away when he/she is youth. use ur maturity to think about it. do your part. tat's is.

have a nice day~

best regards
venus

Flower Drum song

2007-03-17T04:20:00.000-07:00

waaa i tot holidays can rest geh.. but holidays me and my classmate help our school to gao tim flower drum song see we so guai ^^

Flower drum song is about 3 familys geh. tat's a guy call A introduce a girl call B to another guy call C. that C go dating with another girl name D. then that A love that D and so did the D aso love that A. That B aso love that C and that C aso love that B. However their family ask that A marry with B. on marry that day finally that B tell ppl about she actually love C. then happy ending jor...

at this show i'm not an actor.. but i'm juz controlling the things which they wanna use. Althought my place (another 7 ppl of my classmate) aso become tempo replacement only me didnt. from start i feel i really useless but after awhile i think maybe coz he (leader) dunwan all ppl become replacement then no ppl care about the things so leave me care lo.. so i mai care lo xD

each time go school need take 4 or 5 hours ... sometimes is very early early like 9am or 8am.. sometimes is 5pm or 6pm till night 10 or 11... this holidays really busy... T.T

Anyway, i enjoy it coz i learn about not actors baru important le. the ppl who working behide it is very important too. My fren who work for these stuff for about 3 months keep scolding by teacher... i ke lian him.. that's y i wan do my best part! Dunwan let him get scold again :P

Anyway, who wan watch this flower drum song at ACS ipoh (23,24,25 of march 2007) at night 8pm geh show, please contract me at msn -venustan1988@hotmail.com or skype -venustan1988 or my hp if u got. Ticket price is RM20 (bak) and RM30 (front). Rm20 geh friday and satuday already all sold out. who wan must be fast o!!!!!

Best Regards,
Venus

=.=

2007-02-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

This week o.. venus very tired lo.. my school very ma fan.. wan have activities for society need to find teacher sign this sigh that.. then wan make announcement aso need to find teacher to sign.. me sec for that society.. almost everyday aso bring paper walking around the school when recess.. T.T

But after school i go on9 at sdo saw rong rong only le.. all tiredness gone. Althought he lazy type so we chat very few. but i like to see his reacktion /... =.=v these 2.. haha.. quite funny o~!

CNY coming le.. wad to do le? whole week holidays but still need to study.. T.T juz hope my 1st exam i enver fail =.=v

Good luck o~! /hug~!

Best Regards.
Venus

Ke Lian venus!! T.T

2007-02-02T01:33:00.000-08:00

T.T very cham ar.. venus sick jor.. T.T... headache.. fever.. + no speaker in sdo already =.=.. i was thinking should i waste 500 m points to buy 30 speaker le? 500 point is RM 5 jor!!! got abit "bu she de" but wanna spam in speaker.. teach me how!!!

btw today very happy noh. my ex bf in sdo he today talk alots with venus le~! but he keep on sorry =.= actually venus dun mind jor geh. past jor ma. xD as he said. wan see a cute cute venus last time. venus still remember. so venus must be happy and cute cute noh. xD (ppl who thought i acting cute geh.. go blame my ex-bf.. he wan see i cute geh =.=v) feel very happy lo coz he got read my blog geh but i dunno only.. really sorry i somemore say he never care about me coz never read my blog.. i shoulndt say that.. >"< really sorry~!

hmm today feel cham aso coz tomorrow got school... /faint! sick somemore wanna go school.. sei mou? T.T hope can tahan la.. :P

hmm.. wad else to post le? coz if i no post denny going to wek me =.=!! sei denny always say "you blog 10 years aso never update once la! sei venus" =.=!!! sei denny always copy venus geh "sei"... that 25 zai aso.. copy venus =.=...

k la ntg much to talk. juz feel happy althought i am sick coz fren bak with him. ^.^V

All best and good luck o~!

Best Regards,
Venus

Busy Busy Busy..

2007-01-30T21:46:00.000-08:00

Long time didnt write post le.. Actually not I dont want to write is too many things happen these weeks.. Like.. I just break up with my online bf.. reason? dont want post at here. =.=v

Anyways.. but i found another online sdo bf ^.^V his name is [Gg]LittleRong ~! Actually is i kao(chase) him geh.. but quite funny in the process.. until now everytime when i think i also can smile.. a sweet smile. xD My fren say i "fat hao" =.=!!! dont wan choy them la~!

Rong o.. he quite funny sometimes. like in sdo hor.. when i win him in sdo once time he will say "quit sdo~!" xD but he didnt lo.. then if he win me he will ask me quit sdo.. haha.. juz funny la.. His voice also sweet o~! his homewotn at ipoh however he dunno wher is jasco.. =.=!!! tat means i noe he in ipoh also no use.. coz he dunno the way jor.. how go gai gai with him? haiz...

Nvm la! wait i go KL tbun there visit him lo..he and mimi and ding dong bell and his other frens always go tbun cafe play geh.. can everyday also go no nid study geh.. geng mou? =.=!!!

mmm.. these days o... bz studying lo.. do maths lo.. i damn worry about my chemistry.. after finish my maths i must faster rush back my chemistry.. coz the teacher at school teach wad i aslo dunno

That's all for this post. ^.^V

Prepare by Venus~!

School Day Lor~

2007-01-03T04:36:00.000-08:00

waaa.. school started!! venus very scare of this year because venus will take STPm this year. Why venus typing so cute? typing with replace "venus" for "i" and "me" and "my"? It is because venus learn and copy from 1 of my fren [Gg]LittleMi from SDO. He is same age with venus too. but he is studying in colledge at KL geh..

This holiday ar.. venus very enjoy. ^^ venus went to Kedah... then went to Kuantan ... then when come back left only 2 weeks holidays.. venus keep on playing SDO non-stop from Lv 20 can jump to Lv 24 in only 3 and a half days!!! Venus so happy.. but sad also.. 3007 prefect 11 cools didnt get any badge.. T.T that stupid competition make venus sad.. T.T

School day start lo.. venus will spend more time on studying.. maybe will only use 1 or 2 hours to online. Because venus dont wan disapointed venus's mami.. althought it's hard to get a good result in STPm for venus but venus will try my best geh ^^

Btw.. i venus happy in SDO because of some of the [Gg] guild members. got...
[Gg]BabyDevil
[Gg]BabyDingo
[Gg]BabyBelle
[Gg]BabyZeusy
[Gg]BabyBilly
[Gg]BabyAaron
[Gg]BabyFaCez
[Gg]Babysup3r
[Gg]LittleMi
[Gg]LittleRong
and many others... hope can be frens forever~! ^^

Best Regards.
Venus

星语心愿

2006-11-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

星语心愿
曲编:金培达词:高雪岚

我要控制我自己
不会让谁看见我哭泣
装作漠不关心你
不愿想起你
怪自己没有勇气
心痛得无法呼吸
找不到你留下的痕迹
眼睁睁的看见你
却无能为力
任你消失在世界的尽头
找不到坚强的理由
再也感觉不到你的温柔
告诉我星空在那头
那里是否有尽头
心痛得无法呼吸
找不到昨天留下的痕迹
眼睁睁的看见你
却无能为力
任你消失在世界的尽头
找不到坚强的理由
再也感觉不到你的温柔
告诉我星空在那头
那里是否有尽头
就向流星许个心愿
让你知道我爱你

Why I choose this song? because it is like my now.. but this is 2nd song.. my 1st song which is refering me is reflaction. I always control myself.. Dun wan let myself cry again. because he told me before, he scare the people he love cry he will gone crazy if he saw it. We already end our relationship, however didnt means i already didnt love him. But what I can do is to act like didnt care him at all.. become fren back.. even look at him very painful i also can't help i really feel useless... he stop his treatment already. but i still cannot help him.. i really useless.. and he become cold and cold towards me.. hmm.. izzit not the things i wan? i tot i wan he being cold towards me.. but.. how come i also very sad to saw it?

haiz...

2006-11-03T03:46:00.000-08:00

3/5/2006 Night 1945

ya.. here am I to write those unhappy things again... I being play by my boy friend... should i continue call him ask boy friend? I don't think so...

My friend kelly meet A inside the skype through the introduce by joe(My school friend also). The 1st day they meet.. A(My boy friend) asked Kelly to become his girl friend.. He told Kelly he currently don't have any girl friend.. online or real life also don't have... ... If he don't have girl friend.. What Is me?

I remember these happen when tuesday.. Because of I no mood so I no write about this on that day. Kelly at school very happy.. She come and told us she have a online boy friend yesterday(Means monday) night. And this BF asked her go play SDO with him. Then she said the download rate very slow.. I got play SDO so I said no need DL, just come my house and I copy and CD for her.. and she accept my idea.

After school, she went to my house with me after co-curikulum activities. When I open computer my skype will auto connect de. When copying the CD for her, I open my skype and want to chat with my BF. Then she said "You also know my BF ar?" I was shock... I asked, who is your boy friend?. She answer " This lo.."(and pointed on my BF conve). I was very shock.. angry.. sad.. and I asked her since when. And she told me Yesterday night(Monday) lo. Then I request ask her sent me the history.. And these is what she sent to me..

K : Kelly
M : My BF

K : do you have any gf currently?
M : nope
K : online and real life also no?
M : dont have
K : eans that i have a chance too. haha
M : should be i have chance le
M: haha
K : haha.. really?
M: eap
M: yeap
K: 1st day meet you then want to become a couple ..lo
M: u want ar>?
K: so fast?
M: if u want i dont mind
K: i still no really well known about you yet
M: fast meh
M: i got gf last time 5 mins only i got her lo
K: last 5 minutes? lol
K: that was super fast
M: no....5 mins only i got her to become my gf le
M: my friends also shock
K: can i know how you get her? that was very interesting
M: from the streets de
K: wa
K: from the streets
M : ya
.
.
M : u only wanna be friends with me ar?
M: (blush)
K: lol
K: can have any relationship further than that?
M : dont lol la
K: haha.
M: u want of course have
M: real life gf also can if u want
K: really?
M: if u want
K: If I really want it? lol
K: Because for normal people.. 1 day really too fast
M: we r not normal
K: lol are we special?
M: yes we r
K: lol
K: so.. what should you call me?
M: what u want me to call u
M: u choose ba
K: haha
K: this time I let you choose ok?
M: nono i gentleman lai de
M: u choose
K: lol
K: mm...
K: how about dear? it is short and simple
K: or darling if you want
M: u choose what u want me to call u n what u wanna call me
K: haha
M: darling ba
K: lol ok darling
M: then what u want to call me?
K : i thought will be the same?
M: can be diff ma
.
.
Other things i cut already.. When I reading this I already crying.. Why I trust him so much love him so much and he want to do these thing to me..

I couper with whoever I also dint care about he need to buy me whatever or got buy whatever to me or not. But after I know about Kelly's Case.. Then i suddenly remember he single money also don't want spend on me. Somemore keep on borrow silvers(From wmo) from the friends and ask them come find me take $$. Then I finally know why he choose me. Maybe because of I have many silvers inside the server? Or he only want to play fun around me so wont spend single money on me. If not why he spend money on his charecther also never think about want to spend on me? Last time i gave him 5m inside the game. Then he went borrow 4 M from A girl and got ask me help him return but I didn't and finally he ask 4m from other people and return it. After a while more he go ask B girl and borrow another 4m and ask that B girl find me take back the 4m. He said he quitting game, but why he still want to spend money on that game.. he lie to me again... ...

Tuesday after i read the things, I got talk with him. I ask him why Kelly said she is his GF he said that was his nephew Alferd. Because I got talked with Joe and I ask her about this things. the 70x GF is she listen from A de... and this is exercly what Mike told Kelly... And I request want to skype with his nephew-B. And we do connected our Skype. However he said his mic got problem cannot talk. But I can listen on He is typing the keyboard eventhough he is using the laptop.

After a while more his nephew come skype find me said A in fever and dont want go hospital.. I really love him I can't sit and look at he pain.. So i said i forgive about him and trust him.. and he said want to play sdo with me before he go hospital and we played. Inside the sdo, I got look at the score. At the begin of the song his score was same as mine. Before the ending the score of him sudden'y stopped and didnt raise.. Mean he didnt play that song at almost the end. not 1st song but 2 and 3rd songs also same. I asked him why like that he said his finger suddenly wont move.. Fine,.. i trust.. but after I ask.. he can miss after some notes.. miss 1 or 2 after 40 or 50 notes continue like that and said is his nephew is played for him what and what... I found that many and many lie from his mouth already.. Already have many.. enough.. already enough.. but I still want he go hospital so i didnt say anythings.

Until at night, he asked me is i trust him because of I want him enter hospital? inside my heart really don'thave the answer. My heart become 2 side.. 1st is "Yes.. I'm" 2nd is "No.. I'm not" but I only type, no.. i really trust you..

Today(Friday) he msg me . yes he got.. but I only reply 3 sms to him.. After he said want me to call him I already stop sms him. Why? because I don't want to spend any single money on a boy who cheated me.. yes.. i don't want spend any again. I chat with my friend whole afternoon.. we talked a lots about him.. and finally i deside to tell him.. "sorry.. I can't control myself to keep thinking about you lie on me.. Maybe that was truth about your nephew is really appear and cheated Kelly.. But I feel not save with you again.. really..."(Until now this sms i haven't sent out."

I don't know what I want to do.. I already because of this keep cough from wednessday until now.. and keep playing sdo to make myself to forget about this.. I really.. dont know what to do.. when i remember how he treat me(of coz got good and got bad.. but ehre i refer to bad) i really angry and sad... I remember 1 time he angry me and said "This is high level people de problem, you better shut up..." and.. "I am talking with xxx you no need type" and when playing game and I high lvl then him "yala yala I know you high level you pro I nood la.." and when playing sdo keep force me use high speed although i said i cant.. and borrow money from friend but ask them come find me take $$(I not ATM) and this time... I really don't want continue to check.. I scare if i checked and that alferd is not appear.. I will be more hurt.. more.. hurt... .. i rather stop our relationship now.. As if what he said is truth.. by what he done towards me from the pass.. i think i wont "hou hui" on I end the relationship with him now...

Lastly, A.. I'm sorry about it.. maybe you didnt read my blog because you never care about my single change on my profile.. Or you don't want to care about my blogs also.. I do hope you never read this blog.. Anyways... sorry again.. sorry.. for everythings...

-Venus-

Release My Feeling...

2006-10-27T06:32:00.000-07:00

27/10/2006 - Night 2130-Raining

The sky starting rain again. I remember this afternoon just finish raining... but now rain again.. haiz...

Today just like normal.. when wake up go wash plate.. then continue dl my new online game JX2. Very funny.. dar dar dl whole 15 files only use 20 minutes but i need use 2 days to finish it. However inside the game my connection is faster than him.. lolz.

while dl-ing, of coz I got play WMO and train my charecther. Lv 87 only.. and i hope I can make it to 100 by today. (Of coz i fail coz half way I go play new game with dar dar). Starting was WuFei tank me.. after that Laez become the tanker.. My comptuer already reach it's max.. 2 program of wmo(Different window), skype, MSN, and DL-ing that new game.. lolz.. until after sometimes my computer will show memory low.. haha (Luckt it didnt boom.. lolz)

hmm.. when 2.30pm or somethings, i quit wmo and starting play the new game. well.. I wanna to become a healer so that can heal my dar dar when lvl-ing.. however... become a healer i found that only 1 skill out of all the skills is attack skill.. somemore is single attack. I was shock.. Finally.. i create new charecther and train it again.

Hmm.. why I didnt play WMO half way? got some reasons..
1st : I want play game together with my dar dar.. keke
Dar dar quit game coz he very hate those people who betrayed him somemore said is dar dar ask them to do so.. haiz.. That is why i lost my trustworthy towards wmo anymore.. I can't even can trust single people around me in that game. Whatever they wan to borrow I also scare to lend them.. So i better quit... >"<

2nd : got people kacao in wmo
Who? Andy lo... I dislike people kill other people hero whiel lvling de.. If inside got his enemy I never mind lo but then after he kill those mobs run to my party and killed my party members i beh song only. Our party only got 2 tanker who are mary and ai yin both also lower than 2 turn. Even a people who Lvl 205 is tanking those mobs with provoked that people also keep on shouting for heal. For 2 people who are low lvl how come can tank those devils? Imposible right? That is why I angry.. I not angry him only but also angry ai yin. They never think before they do.. well.. maybe they tot after make that party die andy go provoke again and lure away the mods however he half way dc. That is why i no more angry him after some minutes.

However after i finish play my sdo i am dead while my place for hiding is totally no mobs will come towards me unless some people lure to me. Ya.. i am dead.. so I never mind i walk back and sit at there. Suddenly I saw Andy lure towards me and sit beside me trying to let the mobs kill me. I run and ask "WTH r u doing?" Then he follow me go to save spot and lure more to the save spot. Inside the save spot got other people and he fail to make me die while other peole were dead because of this. I was so sad.. why he wanna kill me or other people again? I suddenly sense I am the wrong people. Why I'm wrong? I should not ask him come marry with me and trian me again. If i didnt ask him come, he wont disturb other party in turtle.. turtle will become very peace.. Ya.. I am the wrong people.. yes.. I am... However it's already happen, what I can do? Ask him stop? That is his choice. What I can do is just shut up and watch the "movie".

I know he hate which people. suemei, cipeng, kelbojak, kulaffo.. these people. However I found that I no more angry towards them. Even that suemei who make bear's hero dead before, bear also no more hate her. why he keep wanna think and think back the pass. If he come back WMO becoz of hate me or wanna stop me from lvl-ing, I will accept it and quit wmo forever. I really scare him. I trying to be friendly with him again.. but after married that day he continue call me dear~ and asking for kiss i was... swt... now somemore doing these type of things.. I really scare already.. I scare he emo again... 1st time i feel scare towards a people... The only things can let me avoid him is.. dun touch wmo again...

Why I choose write all this on a blog? not because of I wanna tell anyone about this. Because of if i dont write and all things keep inside my heart.. I will become crazy.. yes.. I will.. today wadever i do also no mood becoz of i keep too many things inside my heart.. write on a paper and throw away? I very lazy to hold a pen for this.. write in computer and erase it? nah... if erase like that what for I write it out? song ar? what about i write it and keep it in my computer? well.. my brother can access the computer.. he can check my file and read it.. Why i post at blog then my brother will not know about these? very simple. because my brother hate blogs things.. lolz... that is why i choose write on a blog.. keke.. am i clever? xD

Actually got more unhappy things.. like inside the forum that forumer name mthc.. keep on aiming me and said my english is broken language soemmore say what "if you type in broken english venus will understand it". I was WTF!!! !!! he is totally insulting me... but no point for adding his warning level. that is not counted as a kind of insult also. What I can do? I just keep quiet? lolz.. I was thinking about type somethings like this...

"Shut up la noob. I know your english is very pro until everyone inside the forum also canot understand. Even my english is broken english but i dun think u have any right to insult me by using this type of stupid reason. You better becareful . Once more I saw your post is insulting me I will raise and perma ban you."

can i? xD need to ask our forum head - denster.. haha~

Anyways.. I going to continue lvl again...

HAve a nice day~

Prepare by,
Venus

Dreams.. is what?

2006-10-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Ya... what is dreams.. I dont know.. When I am small.. i tot dreams is very beautiful.. very warm.. and full of our hope.. with the time is runing, pass and pass by me, I found that dreams are very scarly.. Everyday I can sense some danger.. hateness.. anger.. sadness.. around me and it do effect my dreams. Even I have sleep, however when I wake up I feel like I never rest before. Why.. The devil who always walking around me keep on disturb me.. never let me have a single moment to rest... haiz...

Finally, i solve my WMO- Boy friends problem. However.. now is my problem between me and my real life boy friend.. I dont know why I feel that the feeling he give me is fake.. I really dont know why. In the new games.. My lvl is higher than him for 2 lvl, he talk with me and said "yalo i know i am noob la, you are pro. I know." and the voice he is using is somethings like really dislike. I think, Just a game.. what for so care about the level? why so care about win and lose? Even in SDO we dance together, ya.. he is using Speed 6 and I am using speed 3. He keep on asking me to raise my speed just because of I win him in sdo by low speed. I think, why need to care about the speed? If he want he can slow down his speed didnt means to can force me to use high speed.

Inside the WMO.. he said after he come out from the hospital will marry with me.. well.. of coz he didn't. He said marry package he can get it easily.. well he didnt get it also. I not care about he got marry me or not.. I only care about his promise..If he really cannot do it.. Just tell me i dont mind.. but why.. Now somemore quit WMO and play a new games.. after i high lvl then him he come and dislike.. What I need to do? I just left both game.. and only visit blueserver forum... I dont know what else i can do.. I am sad...

Ya.. last time.. he didt "kao" many people inside the games before.. however when i ask he only said isn shinangle.. But the things i know is.. he got "kao" milk--> Baby--> para mami... and shinangle.. why.. why like this also dont want to tell me.. and because of this.. plus his attitude towars me i feel like.. the love he give me is fake.. I am being play by him... sad...really.. sad...